Endless thoughts flow through me, all with their own agenda. One occasionally meeting the other though they never blend, Just as God intended. Each thought touching the banks, sweeping past in a flourish or sometimes not being noticed. Only the limited thoughts stop me and grasp me by force, asking me why they have been left neglected, dried up with no life with cracks running across the ground that was full of life. A seen invisible void, resting in a corner somewhere in the jungle of my heart, the self harming of my thoughts, crippling my system, eating what’s left of my prerogative thought first. You clinched my milk and honey with your five finger discount without a receipt but I knew it was your hand, the one you tried to use sand paper on to get rid off your finger prints because you thought it was real, your psychopathic desire didn’t have this planned out, but panned out. But I knew it was your hand. I felt the cold of the melt and honey drip on my heart to leave a dent in the visible void of the empty river banks that which they used to flow in, only to feed my soul, being dried out, suffocated, malnourished of sweet love that I can only see with my eyes clamped shut not passing any hope through to give me light. And now the darkness sees me, arms shackled behind my back, veins collapsing in on themselves, shaking and trembling. I haven’t lost my mother or facing a nightmare, only looking at my reflection. My scarlet red reflection, with it’s own choices and neglectfulness persona, surely that’s not me?
“You never looked beyond this plastered front, being humble and nice never made you happy. That smile, your eyes, your cheeks. Your muscles dance along to your deceiving mantra, composed by the decomposed soul that you never attended to, shriveling to death but it never wanted to die away. I never wanted to die away. Numbing me each time you showed your teeth to the world, your mouth stretching from east to west, every contraction your face made was another finger being removed and now how do I pray for you? How do I hug you when there is nobody there to comfort you when you suffer invisibly?” “I never stole your milk and honey, you were only oblivious to what you were doing to yourself, and tried to put the blame on somebody else. How typical of me”